New Goal in Life

I have a new goal in life: to raise daughters who do not act like complete ninnies at the movie theatre.

*

Just as everyone with a XX chromosomal makeup did this weekend, my friends and I went to see New Moon. It came out on Friday and so we decided to go during the day. We bought tickets for the 11:45 am show for the SPECIFIC purpose of avoiding all the giggling yelling teenage girls. We were sorely disappointed. It was full of teenage girls who decided that the movie theatre was the perfect place to scream for no reason, cry out “team Edward” or “team Jacob” every time one of them came on-screen, and yell random comments to the screen. I thought the girl in front of us was having a freaking seizure as soon as the title of the movie came on-screen. She did not have a seizure; she is just crazy and apparently did not have a mama to teach her better- bless her heart. Of course then the Shhhhh wars started between groups of people. One group would be loud then the another group would shhhhhhh them and then the aforementioned loud group would shhhhhhh right back whilst giggling. I wanted to stab so many people I thought I would lose it. Then I remembered why I didn’t have very many friends in high school.

What did I think of the movie? First, it was a 100% improvement over Twilight. (According to my mother, it had to be.) The quality was far better than the first and I thought that it was as good as it could be with the material. The scenery was great. I loved the part in Italy because they somehow managed to cast actors who are way to good to be in the Twilight movies to play the Volturi.  Taylor Lutner (who plays Jacob Black) was much better than I hoped (side note: he is also 17, please calm down crazy 40-year-old ladies behind us). Bella wasn’t nearly as annoying as in the first movie. And whoever picked out that charcoal suit for Edward is now on my Christmas card list. I am sure I will see it again. I am sure I will own the DVD.

But because I can not seem to just tell you what I think about a movie without half of my world views, here it goes:

The Twilight books are the literary equivalent of eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream. alone. at midnight. in the dark. It tastes good, it’s bad for you, and most of all- you don’t want anyone to know. I devoured the 4 books in about as many days and will NEVER admit to the number of times I have actually read them, but now that they are so popular everyone wants to celebrate this guilty pleasure together. And it’s just WRONG. The dialogue in these books is so corny and cheesy that it hurts, but when you read it by yourself on the couch under a blanket it seems so beautiful and romantic. When you see that dialogue on the big screen being said by actors you just want to cringe and hide of embarrassment for you, the actor and the world at large. So there is no way that any of these movies is going to be any good to movie critics or anyone really. So I think I probably won’t ever really like the movie but I can’t give a good opinion on it until the DVD so that I can watch it alone, in the dark, with chocolate ice cream.

*All these ladies would like you to know that I forced them into this picture so I would have a visual for the blog. They are all mortified.

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About fishandchipsandsalsa

This is the story of a newlywed-ish couple in Dallas about to pack up their lives and pups to move to jolly ol' England. They will miss good family, good friends and good fajitas.
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5 Responses to New Goal in Life

  1. Cindy says:

    Hold on tight, Spidermonkey!! Now that I have your perspective I can see the movie and pretend that you are sitting next to me making your oh-so funny comments. I am jealous of the girls who got to experience it with you!! Seeing a movie with you is an experience. Hope your crud didn’t dampen your enthusiasm.

  2. Carole says:

    You make me laugh! I have not read the books and doubt I will see the movies but enjoy hearing about them from your perspective. Was there an episode on this very blog about a grocery delivery and one of these books? Makes me laugh just thinking about it. Your sense of humor and honesty (with the exception of the promise of weekly posts during time in the US) are why we (me and the pups) keep coming back.

  3. T-Nutts says:

    You summed it up PERFECTLY. I can now stop trying to explain this to people and just direct them to this blog entry.

  4. Lollie says:

    Teenage girls, random comments?, can’t keep quiet. Welcome to my world. As for the near seizure in front of you, the responses I get liken themselves to rolling eyes, snarled lips, and a bobbling head wiggle. Just think if you got to enjoy those darlings 8 hours a day, 183 days a year, then you would figure out summer vacation is for the teachers not the students.
    I know you had a great time in the states. Happy Thanksgiving, do you get the Cowboys and Longhorns? wouldn’t be Thanksgiving with ’em.
    Happy holidays

  5. kellie says:

    Andrea Lin, I love you! What a hoot! Would have loved to have been at the theater with you for this one . . . I haven’t read the books, or seen the movies but sooooo understand where you are with the comments! Sorry that once again I didn’t get to see you, but just knowing you were on this side of the pond and enjoying family and friends and food is enough for the back stage momma!

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