Why do all artists make you so creepy looking?
In an effort to actually soak up some of the culture that is now all around us, we went to the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square yesterday. It was beautiful and had hundreds and hundreds of paintings, most of which were a delight to see. HOWEVER. I have never been a big fan of paintings of biblical scenes, and yesterday that dislike was taken to a whole new level. The most disconcerting ones were the ones of Mary and baby Jesus. Yes, this Baptist girl was none too comfortable with the glow-y towheaded blue-eyed baby Jesuses (Jesi?) depicted with the various Marys who all had long flowing blonde hair (at least Jesus got it honestly) and pale skin with gilded surroundings and medieval clothing. These were bothersome mostly because it looked like Mary and Jesus were lounging in Venice. Even Mike finally said, “why do all the baby Jesuses look German?” I got over the rosy cherubic Jesuses around the time we wandered into some other rooms (that I believe went back in time a bit). Then, historical inaccuracies weren’t the problem anymore. Jesus looked so… creepy. Sometimes he was unusually small sometimes unusually big. Sometimes he looked more like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I also couldn’t stop thinking about that dancing baby from the Blockbuster ads a few years ago because I think a few of them were reminiscent of that. We kept going from room to room, Jesus to Jesus and finally it was getting too much for me so we hightailed it to French paintings of naked ladies and fruit baskets. So when you come to London to visit, I’ll come with you to the museum, but I may spend some quality time in the gift shop until you are at least done with the Holy Family.