My life is forever changed. Today I got stocked up on all the basics from the grocery store. We live about a five minute walk from a full grocery store, which is not a long walk really, but it is a long walk with plastic bags cutting in to your fingers. So I now have a fully stocked pantry, and guess how many groceries I carried home? Zero. Guess how long it took me to walk all the aisles at Sainsbury. Zero. Behold the wonder of grocery delivery:
Oh yes. A nice man in a big truck came and dropped this off today. I selected all the groceries from their website, picked a delivery time and voila! groceries aplenty. There was only a £2.50 delivery charge. So next time all of you are schlepping through the Super Wal-Mart and your buggie is doing that weird “won’t go to the right wobbly wheel thing” you could be me, ordering groceries while watching reruns of Gilmore Girls on DVD. Yep, I don’t want you to be jealous of the museums and the culture we are surrounded with, that’s kid stuff- it’s all about the grocery delivery.
There is a downside to this happy little tale. I don’t know the exact conversation that took place regarding our groceries, but there was one. I think it went something like this:
Frank: Ok, Phil, next order is for Coker
Phil: Blimey! I knew some Cokers from Surrey. Tiny little things they was too.
Frank: Whatcha mean tiny? Short or like scary tiny?
Phil: Like scary tiny, mate. About the size of wee garden gnomes I would imagine.
Frank: It doesn’t say they need the gnome sized groceries but maybe they just forgot to check that box.
Phil: Well mighten we oughta give them the gnome sized groceries anyways? I’d hate to think of what a real sized bag of flour would do to the little things.
Frank: Good point. Better safe than squashed, I always say.
Something like that had to have happened. How else do you explain this:
That is the giant bag of flour that I ordered. Damn metric system.